


Naruto save Allentowns!!!!!!

by bblack_metal_suriken



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon), Naruto
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bblack_metal_suriken/pseuds/bblack_metal_suriken
Summary: team 7 go to alelntown in the year 2020 when it urled by evil nazi , isis terrorist, and the evilest feminst vilages,kekashi lead naruto sasuke and sakura to defeat all bad men and drive them from alentown and kills them drink there bloodthis is first fanfic i do not owns any propery
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, naruto nativeamirkan girlfend suske & sakura some other sex too
Kudos: 5





	1. chapter 1 welcome to alelntown

chapter 1 welcome to alelntown  
A/N: this is my first fanfic i do not own right to any character tanks for making nartuo msashi kishimodo.

Naruto uzumaki was riding shotgun in a 2008 toyoda prius with his teacher kakashi katake who was now in his middle fiftes. Behing the two in the backseet was sasuke uchito and sakura haruno. The toyota pris was kakashis and it had leaf   
village signs spray painted all over it with red paint along with gangster tags, skulls, bones, drawwings of guns, with 2pac, biggie small, and popsmoke lyric all over it. A gold cuban neckles with jewelled weed leafs hung ovver the rear  
-view mirror and it dangle as kakasi swerved down scott street. the car was not lifted but it the tires had gold rim with skull and crosing bones on it like the pirates blackball had on his ship flag. kakashi was fucking arond with the   
radio statons like a dumb retad while not paying atenshen to the road listening to mega radio because hispanic music get kakahi katake in a good mood. kakashi says to naruto all the time in whisper "fine latina bichs big booty bi biches   
like dat hahaha' but he is old and likes old things like hall and otes and sometime pink floid but that was okay. naruto kinda liked pink floid.

Kakashi flipped radio to 99.9 to old people music and hall and otes "your out oftouch was playing"

"Shake it up is all that we know  
Using the bodies up as we go  
I'm waking up to fantasy  
The shades all around aren't the colors we used to see" (i do not own the right to this song this is creative ting)

Naruto didnt like hall and otes dat much but he did not mind because he like kakashi becase he give narutu some blunt weed and weed cigaretes on the down low he kindof like a cooler dad but not in a gay way naruto like tool it all he   
listen to why trainin gwith his katana nad glock 20. 

sasuke hated old music and said "hahaha kakashi change this shit my negro (sasuke is half peurto rica he cant not say the actua nword) whats nexts you play david bowie more like gay vid blowie" sasuke pretend to suck an inveseble dick   
but even if it wass fake and funny it was still gay as fuck nad gross. 

"eww" naruto and kakasi said at same time almsot like a comedy sene from fox show "your homo as hell sakuse do dat again and we jumpen dat gay ass for real thdis timm"

Kakasi says in a wise techer like way "So as you know andim ims saying again allentwn as been taken over in 2018 by three evil force we call "vilalges" the nazi village the isis terorist village an the femeinist village. the nazi village take over the west theater and  
hamilton. the isis terorists got thr 8th and jordan, the feminist vilage tooks over the 6th and 1st everyting else other thna west ends and fargrounds was blown the fuck up with greandes dinamite and small nukes."

kakashi continue like wise ninja master "said west end is safe haven and were base of operation is set up in a old mechacic shop. This is were team 7 guna train eat and sleep." 

Kakashi stop out first becausee ehe the teacher of the gang and he was wearing tomy hiflinger furneck jacekt with leaf villalge sign stitced on to back, shoulders, and on the side of hoods. He also had on red nike baskesball short with  
tribal african patterns (kakashi white though he cool with black panther and stuff knows the leaders brother and grandpa). he wear white socks with green doller sign and a pair of balenchagas red men slides with the balenchiagas logo   
scratched out and replaced with the words "drip". hE still wear his headband but the metal part is golden with studded jems and the band parts has a purple and gereen camo patern and it is still pulled over eye. 

naruto was wearing a drug rug in different green shades. On the chest was a giant leaf village sign but the leaf was a weed leaf with two joint crosing eachother at the bottom. on the back was the album cover to tool lateralus album with  
the muscule guy. black straps went around his waist chests and arms, filled with shurikens, knifes, and little bags of cush and even some kedamine and acid when he feel depresed. narutso wearing four weed leaf and four knife earings in   
each ear made from rose gold but not to pink because naruso liked girl not men. naruto had purple beanie with the tool loogo with the headband of leaf village overtop. he had pins and badges with bob marley, billy boyo, eekamose,   
yellowmans, and words like "legalize canbanis". naruto had some badass eagle feather in the top of of his beanie because his girfriend was native ameciran. narusot was wearing knee high purple sock with guns like glock and rifles on   
them. he wear yellow stripe balencagas sneakers with tool lyrics ritten on them. 

sakuse stepping out third wearing his vantablack long trenchcoat wiht spikes on the collar and wrists and blood red tassels with little golden skulls on the end. sasuke is wearing a burzum band shirt with celtic swatiksa (not nazi bult   
like viking thing) nad some pentagroms he panted himself with goat pig and baby blood he stole for the aburpton clinic. his nipple percings can be seen from underneth on the trenscoat. there was the leaf villages sign but in red with   
evil staanic face on the leafs with fang and snake tonge. sasuke neon orange odachi sword was in its seath around his back and the seath was decoraded with the ears and teets of his enemies in the past and mabe the future too...... also  
sasuke wear red fishnet stockings but they were cool and not like in a sexy try to attract a boy way. sasuse wear no pants only his boxer he say cause it allow him so slash his sword fasters but it was really to show of his cock to his   
hot gf sakura hahuno. his headband had a skull with leaf vilage instead of medal with leaf village and the band was died red. 

sakuro harno steps out really sexy like a hore stripper next wearing a super short pink helllo kitty mini skirt that show her pink panty with white bow and soft japanese ass. sakura wears a pink hello kitty bra that her ivotu d   
bordline e tits were spilling oout of. a belt arond her skirt held her knifes, smokebobms, iphone, and dampons when her pussyb leed. sasuke smaked her as so hard it turns purple and sakura gigeled beacause she was into pain and was   
someting called a "masocist."

The whole gang walk over to the old mecanic shop after stepping ovver af few dead heroin junkees the place was full of cobwebs and smelled like oil, car, and old man sweat obvosoly abaondoned a few year ago. 

kakashi says "I now this shit look like a traphouse with sluts in it but we can sweep up put some wierd kapanese painting up and get rice cooker ready and it feel like home again" 

naruto sigh and put in his old earbuds and listen to tool anema at full blast. sasuse being a metalhed asshole jus blasted his satan music from his android phone hook up to his speaker at full blast. sakura sign and wrapped her arm arond  
sasukes chest and kissed his pecs. kakashi pull out his dumb 90s boombox and tart playing some suavamente to clean to place to like some latina mom but instead old white man with eretile disfucntion. after the main building was clean   
everyone went to work on they room. Sasuse started put on idol to lucifer with red candel and black sabath and burzum poster and geting bdsm equpment for his big chested gf ready. sakura menwhile set up her adult sized crib nex to sasuke  
case she was into that baby stuff too. naruto just lay on the floor cause his poor ass sold all of furniture except matress to buy tuns of bud. insted of blakets naruto just used his dirty old clothes and bits of newspapers. naruto sat   
on bed smoking wax dab from huge glass bong and blowiing fat rips like the volcano of pompay before that bitch explosed and killed the greeks. naruto has no money to buy food and susuke is bitch and wont share his rice and anthing he buy  
from cornerstor, deli, or bakery. naruto swear that sakura has herpe so he wont eat anything she share. she probably got aid to nasty ass

So hungry as a donkey kept in a dark hole for ten days naruto get munchees. naruto headed to kakashi's room to asks for some rice or some sliced balogna from the deli. kakashi cant be found in his room so naruto gos poking arouund cause  
his nosey ass alway gets in trobule. naruso open his masters closet and find a whole as shrine to some voodo witch stuff, with a skeeletan lady idol surounded by candy in the shape of skull, chocolates, flowers, rums, cigaretes, and weed   
joints dipped in weed wax like dip sticks. naruto lip start salivatating like when his girfrend send piture of her possy popping and squirten like a fountain at casino in las vagas and he took big bite out of all sugar skull and   
crunch them up. naruto than took his trusty zippo his grandpa (who was born in kington jamaca) gave to him before he cometed suiside by sliting his neck after bob marely died of canser.

naruto stared to smokes all cigarete and weed making him even more hungries. smelling all the smoke and candy kakashi run in and start fighting naturo for being a glutonis fatass with no maners 

kakashi say "naruto you punk ass honkey hon why you comin in and eaten all the fucking suagar skull dedicatded to my fam that died or suisidE"??? 

naruto mumble "firts tell me who this crazy witch bones is and ill apologise for simply starving... "

kakashi said "thats santa muerte and i also believe in infant jesus because im catholic. yuo just smoke weed and jak off you jackoff. she lady of death who lookes kindly apon sinners like me. you best bets your carrying all the guns,   
ammo, and bombs for the mission we bout to do. so gest reddy to bus you ass!!!111!"


	2. chaptter 2 nazi vs ninja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> realy gorey shit but everyone dieing is a nazi so they gots what ethey deserve some abuse but lots of character develpment and awsome taratino like movie action scenes

chapter 2 ninja vs nazi

Team 7 was lurking down north bulwark street during the night time to locate a secret nazi outpost located in a row house. kakahsi was holdsing a tec 9 coverd with golden plates and hangin wit goldenn crosses cause he is catholic.   
kakasi also have 10 ninjato all cover in posion and decorated with words like "drip", "sauce", and "gang gang". sasuke is holds his S&T Motiv K12 mashine gun cause he fucking love south koreas its decorate with picture of lusifer and   
satan and cosvered witth spikes. sajura hold a armsel strike shotgun from south africa were her racistt ass dad use to work as army man painted pink and cover with picture of anime girl big tits. naruto only had glock 20 though he wanted  
to use the japanese howa types 98 rifle his jamacan grandpa found washes up on jamaca beach. but naruto how gun taken away for day as punisment for eating kakashi sugar skull and insulted his religon. naruto glock has skull painted on   
and say 'kill nazi isis feminist drink they blood'. 

kajashi hold up hand in like in swat movie and says "stop i hear the nazi talking germen" "this house BUST BUST IN" kakashi yelled sneaking with team 7 into the brick rowshouse were nazi outpost radio was located.

With a quick slash kakashi broke open door wit the ninjato and opens quitely to sneak in. team 6 sees 5 nazi guy with bald heads sit around table smoking cigaretes and talksing about jew and stuff. they all wearing black leather shirt  
black leather pants, black leater nazi hat with skull on front and a pair of horn like viking hat. also they had swasitska on arm and aronud head in a headband over there gasmasks. suddenly sakuse cock back his S&T Motiv K12 mashine gun  
and yesll "FUCKING DIE RACCIST BALDHEAD ASS REDARD!!!"! and open fire blowing brain guts, and organ every here and covers whole room on bloods! even shots 3 nazi in penis blowing there fucking bloodc covered balls and dicks off causing  
them to scream befors there brain get blown out with mashine bullet from gun.

from upstairs nazis yell "vat za fuck is going ona herea!!! and' run dowstairs carrying ak47, revolver, and even one nazi with a godamn spear like bruh this is not roman times. kagashi said "god fuck sasuke watch out my brother" and   
throw posioned ninjato impaling 5 nazi soldier men to the side of stair. but they are still alives a groaning 'fucking shwine.....ah ze ameracan vis de japaneze swords nail uz like ze nail to wooden borda AAHHH im bleezing they go limp   
dead. 

the last nazi with spear throw like it caveman in stones age and almost hit kasaki in eye not cover by his headband. but kakashi deadass ninja master so he ccatchs it and throw in back right in the nazi cock and he yell "oh mine got mine  
svasage i knew japabese were alied wih jew!" and died afer bleeding from balls

"Ah right gang" kakashi says "we go upstair afet slaghtering thse nazi scums and rescue ino yamanaka from her cage! she were probaby held prisoner to be sold as prostute or even sex woman! also naruyo please detroy nazi radio before back  
up can comes and fucking start bombin us and shit" 

naruto face turns dark and storm cloud over head when character get angry in anime says "man i hatee that fag kakasi his weed is trash, stemy, and blacker thans a turd!i liked him but i might pop a cap is his cathlic asshole no homo!" 

narudo do not believe in god he is spirital athiest, that is also why he make fun of kasashi religon. but naruto is just mad and hungry (hangry lol) he not alsway like this. narutos groan and go upstars to fucken destroy the radio by   
bashing it but he finds steamin hot noodel cup and he almostt get a boner from joy! 

nasruto start eatin like a pregant pig with anarexa but acidently bump into radio, sendings alert to local nazi it say "warming emergensy button presseds! all nazi cocome to this house! we have beens taken over!' nasurto freak out and   
all of team 7 look at him like classromo look at the redard kid woh start moaning in class. 

naruto shly laugh and say in low voice "uh....uh.s.....geuss i should not have smoke all those joosy jays back at base....so high......high....hehe.eha.ha (naruto pretend to still be on weed).

sasuke growls like a devil "naruto you are a dumbass who shouldd go to hell but nots even satan would want to have you as gay slave of love to fuck and bangs!!! and i know i talk to satan before i hit dab and after me a sakura get freky"  
sasuke so angry steam blow out face and nose like old timey train.

sudenly 20 black nazi van with real life skelntons and huge darn swatiska on the van pull up with gun blazing. naruto scream like little bitch ass and grab the sexy and naked ino yamanake by her vabina screaming "i got you fine asian ass  
right here babe do not lets racist nazi shoot you, kill you, and turn you intos hooker slut"!!!!!! 

ino smack naruto so hhard a bit of his botom lip flies of with a few tooths and blood and said "narugo you cheat on your girlfrend dance-with-blades-under-the-morning-rain-cloud you manly slut' 

naruto replies "dont use her native name you dumb whitey she like called by name "hinada" or "puple hair" ino pouted like a fatass baby but then naruto smaked her so hards her gay little pigtail flew off like POOF

Sakura despite having buncha herps and aid is sometime smarts in the brain. she make a fucking rokcet launcher from pvc pipe which she blow like a blowpipe and the rocket made from bean can filled with gunpowder lit with fuse. (sakuras   
is qutie strong despite havin cute apearance, big boobs, and nice pussy! so if anyone complain look at this sccene and tell me she is just a 'dumb whore' sakure is not whore she is a smart women but only under stress, during headache,   
and/or periods) 

while sakura was blow into homeade rpg her nasty boyfriend sasuke say "hey sugarplums is dat what you gonna do do me, your daddy ,when we play big daddy little girl in da freak room tonite" 

sakura roll her eye before launcing rocket at nazi vans and blowing those racist assholen even more racist than south africann up into bloody chunks!!!11! even a few severed penis and balls fly up to team 7 causing them to giggle laught-  
er. pissed off at sasuke insolence, sakyra grab a godamn used heroin needle the size of small baseball batt and stab him righ in his chest breaking ribs. sasuke was mad but then got kinda turn on as he was sort of into pains as well   
havig learned it from his "sugarplum". 

everyone having good laugh like at end of family guy episode but then sneak nazi dressed kind of like ninja but with leather and swaitica armed with a big curved knife straight form arabian nightts sneak up try to cut off kakashi  
akilies heel. narutos see this with his ninja instiinct and grabs nazi wrist, breaking it in dozen little piece, and karate hyper chop inbetwen his eyes making nazis eye pop out and brain and skull go flying up as blood shot out like an '  
clog up supersoaker gun filled with bloods instead of waters. naruto beam an say "i learn that technique from adam sandlar movie which say

"Heyo! SONGLYRICS just got interactive. Highlight. Review: RIFF-it.  
RIFF-it good.  
Play "The Hanukkah Song"  
on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad)  
Listen while you read!  
Adam Sandler  
Miscellaneous  
The Hanukkah Song  
Intro: this is a song, that uh, theres alot of xmas songs out there, but not  
Too many about hanukkah, so i wrote a song for all those nice little jewish  
Kids who dont get to hear any hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yalmulka, here comes hanukkah  
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate hanukkah," (i do not owns this either this for creatie purpose only)

Naruto quickly comes up one liners and say "this is why hitler kills himself like a bitch doofus" 

Everyone run out of house covered in gore and eyebals and nasty goo, breaking into a garage looking for car or something

"lusifer fuck fuck fuck fuck damn! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" sasuke cried (lusifer not god sasuke is a satanism rember?) as he lifted garage with his bare hands. naruto admited only to himself that sasuke muscles made him a bit  
hot in his privates part. but in the garage there was some homo little girls bike with my litle ponies and spongebob and whatever on them.

"well goonies looks like dis gonna be our ride tonite on god and mother mary" kakashi said putting. the girls of the gang got on bikes just fine but boy got on reluctatnly and rode back to the base in old mecanic shop on west side   
allentown.


	3. chapter 3 = team 7 going to churhc!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the thirdd chapter to my story, sorry about bad formatd last chapter my friend say make it clearer and i try, this chapter bout church and some gay stuff i hope you like

chapter 3 teams 7 go the curch!

***timeskip 1 week afternazi attack*

Naruto open his eye after jus twaking up from a awesome dream about hims and sasukse doing gay thing like talking kissing and making love with the ass and balls. he see shadow figure naruso think black guy sneaks into room trough open  
window but sahdow turns light on and reveals that it was ...... kakashi!!!!! 

"good mornings young shibobi purple haze " (pruple haze was naruto code name) says kakashi "my mans naruso it is sunday and you know what dat means!"

"w-wha-waht kakashi vro it like 5:40 fucks you doi-" naruto say but cut short when he notice kakashi cloths

kakasi was wearing a golden crop-top tshirt that stopped right below his huge pecs with a picture of jesus doing magic like back in the old ass roman times, the shirt wa sstudedd with gemstomes but kakashi spend all his money on carri-  
bean rum and smelly whore so naruto knew they were glass gems, under the tshirt kakahi wear red fishnet over his body that mades his coconut oiled abs glisten and shines. a 5 pound gold cross was slungs across his neck that had jesus  
crusafied on it with the INRI part held up by two angels with huge boobs. Kakasi wear pair of yellow assless chaps with santeria voodoo and christian symbols all over it with rainbow color tassels run from hip to ankle. kakashi red skull  
thong that had LED eyes that glow scare the fuck out of naruto who was scared of skeleton like a pussy (that whe he so derespect to santa meurte a weeks ago), kakashi finished off all his drip with a pair of stripper boot with 6 inch  
stileddo heel that go all the way up to just above his knee. the boot were yellow and studded with fake gem like his tshirt and had wood rosaries with image of the virgin mary wraped all around the boots.

"kakashi you look good- uh- i mean nice drip bro what is it cleaning day again"???? naruto say hiding his blush and his godzillalike foot and a half long boner under his bedseets

"thank purpple haze" saids kakashi "i love to clean to elvis krespo but it curch sundays"!!!!

naruto sighed a bit, naruto did not like church all that much since the deacon smaked his ass when he was little boy all the way backs in philly but naruto go jus to make kakashi happy, 'all right but that mean wehave to wake up sakura  
and suskuse"

naruto only had his akira anime underwear on as he and kaskasi walk to sakura and sasuke room wher it smeell like sweats and lube, 

"black sabbath!!! (this was sasuke nonja code name) daiperlover!!!! (this wase sukura codename) get you clothes own it time for church" yelled kakashi as he and naruto slam open door 

"SWEET MOTHERS MARY" say kakashi 

"OH MY NOT EXIST GOD" say naruto

sakura was tied up wit so much rope that she look like a bondage butterfly in a sex cacoon, her tits flopped back and forth as sheswung from the ceiling, her tits were a deep purples because the rope around boob was so tight but she   
freaky as hell and like that.......sasuke actaully had his dick and balls in her huge pussy and her pink pubes and was going "UH UH UH UHU ARRRRGHGHGH" like a crazy cavesman,

"IM GONNA FLIPPING BLASTER OFF""""""""""""!! yelled sasuke as cum when flying out his cock like it has been block off for a year and just woke up

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" sakura yells like anime girl getting sexed

kakashi cross himself and throw a suriken cutts ing down all ropes, this almost snap safuke dick in half since his ball were stuck in saskure ass and coochies, sakure fall to growd and start cryin g like a gay baby cause she like acting  
like a whole ass infant.

"kakasi fuckkkkkk bro on satan we were having fun all nights and you haveto ruin it again" say sasuke

"i dont care about yo weird honkey freakey sexies were goina church and if anything thismake me wanna go more" kakashi say crossing him slef again and kissing his cross

some rushed clothing putting on and sasuke freaking out abvout meeting jhesus because he stanist later, all of team 7s pile into kakashi busted 2008 prius and drive to iglesia de christo misionera church on N 14th street, arriving  
around 6:10 but i cant remember the exatc time

every pile out of the car in various states of mood, kakshi was happy of coursecause church was better then smokes weed for him, sakura say she pegan and worship nature and shit like caveman but she like jesus too, naruto did not want  
to be here but he want to make kakashi happy so he go naruto would also follow sasuke to hell and back even if he dont believe in hell cause he find him cute like i think girls are hott, sasuke was screaming and shaking like seisure  
because he loev satan and sasuge think church burning his skin.

Naruto was wearing a dark green tanktop with ligght green weed leafs all over it showing off all the voodoo tatoos naruto have allover his muscular body. naruto also wear a pair of blue jean and pink baleceiage sandals. sasuke just wear  
his trenchcoat with spike and blood red tassel since his shirt got dirty with cum. Sasuke also wears a pair of tight black leather pant with spike and satanaic pentagroms all over it. sasuke finish off look with pair of spikey goth   
combat boots that say 'fuck you' and 'retard face' on the sides of the soles. sakuke hold a bright pink leash in his hand which is connect to a spikey pink collar around sakura hickey covered neck. sakura just wear fuzzy pink bra, a  
leopard print thong, and pair of fuzzy pink cat ear with bells and stuff. sakura even a cats tail thing that go into her tight ass, and her fat ass jiggle distracted kakashi, naruto, sasuke, and even the hobo guy picking cans across the  
street.

"sasuke you acting like a dumb retard here smoke thise juicy jay i prepare" naruto say pulling out a 8 inch joint from his pink balceiage sandals "but i only have this one so we has to share"

"how the lusifer burn demon hells do you share a jay"?? sasuke ask because he is kinda slow and dont now how to puff and pass

naruto alway want to be gay with sasuke mouth and thout up a sneaky ideas "umm i will smoke the weed and blow the weed smoke into you rmouth bro but i will said no homo after ever time we touch mouths btw it not kissing"

sasuke was hesitate because he also want to kissing naruto and even make ass love but hate him self for being gay "i dunno bro" sakue say

"dont worry my satan friend" say narugo "this is ancient native amercan trick my gf tought me like warrior did it an stuff"

"oh ok" said sasuke cause native american were pretty dope and always true

so narugo make big fat clouds as he smoke sucking them into mouth as sakura and kakashi walked in to the church, and when naruto cheek swell up like the chipmunk in my old 7th grade class ke give sasuke big fat wet kiss and blow smokes  
into sasuge fuckedd up lung

"mpppghpgh uhhh" sasuke moaned softly but also kindy loud so naruto moan also "arrmmmppghh ooooohhh" both guy had big gay heart in their eye but they cant not see eachother love yet.

narugo even use tongue a bit in sasukes smokey throat and it taste like smoke sausage and honey. it was so sweeet cause of the kush narugo use called "jamacan honeysticky OG" narugo boner gettigl longer and larger, after fifeteen minute the two   
stop smoke kissing and sasuke calm down and stopped being so speical need, but jus as sasuke turn around to walk into church naruto boner (almost two feet remember) tap him on the ass giving him soft asscheek a huge hickeys like bruse

"narugo bro the fuck is that fag stuff STOP!!!!!"!!! sasguge scream but in a high way cause he uncoftable with his own homosexality

"sorry bro i kick rock and it hit you on the butts" naruto say blushing looking down and giggle

"ah nah it chill" sasuke melow down cause the jaamacan honey weed start chilling him down.

Naruso and sasuke go inside and go to left where kakahi and sakura were sitting at the pew and thinking about jesus and good things inside their head.

"gee whilgers" say kakashi because he old and hi slang outdated "took yo all long fucking enough." sakura jus giggle with hand over mouths and as she giggle boob jiggle up, down, up, and down again. sasuke saw the boob jiggle drool like  
my dog when i take labanon baloeny out of the fridge.

the church was packed as todays was sunday (if you dont rembeber) and everone was attending mass and the pastor was saids stuff about like "thanks jesus he make bread, his meat, and blood wine " but in spanish so naruto get confuse like  
if you teleported a caveman into new york city.

everyone in the stuffed church was speaking gibberesh like charly brown parents in naruto mind, he think it just side affect of weed but still freak outs and he look to sasuke to see if he confuse and scare aswell. naruto look and  
want to stare deep into sasuke eye cause he gay as hell but realize afer almost cumming his pant that sasuke was not confuse! sasuke was noding head like undersand!!!

"sasuke wats the fuck are the guys speaking!!!! it like alien talk" naruto say almost crying because he is honestly a pussy "i think weeed to strong" naruto blubbers, a fat tear going fat in naruto eye.

"naruto babe- i mean bro that just spanish speak" sasuke say (he half porto rica he speak hella spanish) wiping tear away from naruto kawai blue eyes with thum. naruto and susuke look deep in eachother eye pastor come over with  
tray of wafer and shot glass of wines

"my children take flesh and blood of christ " say pastor in spanish 

naruto cant hear right and he think priest give out snacks and say "god damn bro thanks homey im hungry!!! you know weed get me like that i dont know about you'.

naruto use his big ass dirty ass man hand to grab fistful of church wafer and eat them like fucking cheezits. whole church gasp in spanish and look out naruto in shame and disgust. kakashi face turn red like a red tomado and pull overs   
headband to cover eye. sakusa like humilation though so she get super super honrey

naruto look over at bottle of wine on platter that pastor hold and grab it and chug it cause he got cottom mouth from dry ass wafer and weed smoke. this piss of entire church and old latina ladys bum rush naruto and beat the fuck out of  
him making bloods teeths, and flesh splatter everywhere as they beat naruto with canes, clubs, bibles, knifes, whip, and eveon one bitch with a deadass shotgun!!!11 one old abuela took out a cross and stuck it into naruto eye, scooping   
naruto eye out and smashing it over his head like a raw egg!!! naruto cried for fogivenes but this only turn sasuke on as he watch naruto get dragged off to outside, his nails leave scrach mark on church floor

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!11!!" kaskasi yell "i just want to babtise team 7 but bummy naruto ruins it again!!!!!!!!!!" 

sakura began to cry cause her heart and brain weak but kakashi lean over and make outs with her even though she like 16 and kashi 56. this make sakura happy and sasuke do not notice because he watching naruto get jumped and likes it, 

"sasuke, sakura lets just get dis over with and get out....... i think church is done after that......" kakashi saids as he watchs everyons go out of church after losing the feeling of jesus after narugo ruin it

"yo pastor" kakashi said in spanish way "get the babtism ready we got two beauful christian here ready to go to water"

"ok kakashi" said pastor as he open a few gallon of holy water from fridge as pour into the babtism tub thing (im sorry i forgot what it call). kakashi cross arm and tap his kinky boots impatently as pastor slowly filled up babtism thing  
cause he old as hell. naruto scream 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' from outside and the old ladys began torture his body peaces (even privates parts) kakashi just roll eyes while sakura tear up again and sasuke tongue hang   
out in a hot homo way

"ok kakashi" said pasor as he fill up babtism tubs "emo one first (uno)" pastor said in a spanish way. sakura sigh and pastor dip head in water and he start screaming as the weed wear off and he realises that he is in church and get   
babtism. no one can hear scream only bubbles in water as sasuke's black eyeliner and goth makeup wash off and turn babtism holy waters blackk. the pastor freaks out and toss sasuke across room outside in fright but then just realise that  
was his makeup and add blue dye to water to turn waters back itno normal color,

"okay big boob cutey next" pastor say as he grab sakuru ass. the pastor dip her heads into the water but pastor old and fall asleep as he hold saskura head under water and she start losing oxygen. but it like choking but under water and  
she get so honrey she start to cum everywhere!!!! it like someone had twenty gallon jar of vaseline as open and spreads it every where covering whole church in girl squirts!!!!! kakashi just give up and try to grab sakura and sasuke by   
ears to lead them out but slip in sakura cum getting him all soaking wet and pissing he of to his limit

kakasi stomp out of church and pick up the unconsous and bloody naruto and throw all of team 7 into his ratchet ass car. saskura, sasuke, and kakashi were all soaking wets with babtism water and sakura pussy juise while naruto just bleed  
in the corner of the car like a bloody guy. 

"k-k-k-k-kakashi did i do a bads job to jesus"?? sakura said like a shy anime person

kakasi replied "not angry jus disaponted" as he start up car and start drive back to mecacnic base shop

naruyo regain consiousness after covering whole back of car with blood and guts and say "oh darn kakasi sensay please dont take my guns away for this one'

kakashi just get flame skull in his eye in anger and smoke come out of ear and nose as he turn and say in angry dad voice "NARUTO WHAT IS GIRLFRIEND BITCH NAME"!!!!!!!!!

"uh--it hanada but she also like being called purpel hair" naruto muddered

"NARURO IM TALKING AWAY GIRLFREND SEX AND LOVES PRIVALAGES FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM STICK BALLS ALL OVER YOUR HINDADA"!!!!!!!! naruso jus fucking cry and passes out again

sasuke felt bad at first but say under his breath "good then you haves me all to youselfs" and grin like that cat guy in the alice book


	4. chapter 4 of allentown story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you guys like prison break story? This is awesome as hell... Death to isis, femanist, and nazi scums....

chapper 4 team 7 fight isis bomb

A/N sorry for delay guy s I was haning out with my three boyfreinds (there are all bisexual and cutes!) I took the time to try to betetr my spelling and grammer over my long break full of sexs with my three hot boyfriends!sometime I type way fast when I get exsited but I wil ltry to work on that one!! My friend Alicia told me to capitalise word after every sentence as well so thanks bitchhhh!!!! <3

* Timeskip 5 day after chruch

Naruto wake up in full body cast thing 5 days after the chruch insident with old spanish ladys and he deadass look likes a ancient egypt mummy from pyrmaid. He groans as he look around the hospital room - whites and blinding to his beatufiul blue eyes that simmer like a japanese water pond at night under the night moon. An ivy stat at the side of his bed is filled with clear liquids stuff that go into his vein, Naruto scared it was heroin because all he know thta go into vein is heroin, but it was not. Docter walk into Naruto room and say in a smart doctor way

"aaah paitent number 23053 or Maruto uzamaji. It makes me glad to seeyou finaly awake after you terrible beating. You was beat so bad that we cant even make mediical term to describe your condition but to make a long story short you lost od blood and broke every single bone - bones in head, bones in body, bones in arm, bones in leg, genital bone, foots bone, every bone. There was still even knifes, bullet, machete, axes, stuck in your body that we had to rip out."

"ok thanks man do you have oxycoton?" Naruto asks wating to get high after not smoke weed

The doctor turn around and say "sure have some in my pocket" and toss a few pill into Naruyos open mouth. Naruto crunch oxycoton and feel good.

Nurse peek head into door "um doctor we have three vistor to Naruto room may they go in?" 

Doctor laugh and reply "yes my dear" then turn to Naruto and say "I shall leave nowto give you privacy! I heard cute girl is with the visitor and she might makes love with you"

Naruto laugh weakly and utter "awesome.......maybe god listened in chruch for once.....just kidding ima atheist!"

doctor fistbump Naruto and leave. Letting Kakashi, Sakuse, and Saskura enter the room with big animes tear eye and flowers and stuff. Kakashi even brough giant gold cross to bless Naruto broken ass with. Everyone say how glad they were to see Naruyo still alife and breathing after getting knocked out by a bunch of old latina ladys. Kakashi get all serious cause he old and boring and says to Naruto

"Naruto we have technoligy from japan to make you stronger at homebase, we can remake you into stronger mashine for our upcoming close mission to destroy isis prison in allentown!"

"what kind of technolgy" Naruto ask shocked with vein pump in his forehead

Kakashi reply "Lazer eye, missle finger, built in bong, shotguns leg, jetpack, steel bone, all dat"

Nartuo say sheepishly "and what about you know" and look down at his junk that was covered in cast

Kaskashi smirk and wink and say "yep...we has robit penis as well but i wont tell any body"

Naruto yell "FUCKy YEAH COUNTS ME IN TO SEND ISIS PRISIN TO HELL AND LET SATAN DESTORY THEM!!!!!!"

Naruto then say "yeah you guy just lift me up and bring me to car but let me and Saskuse have a moment I have someting to tell him"

Kashi just shrug and sakura pout like usually which make her resemble this one homeles guy I saw trying to take his pants off at oak street. But both leave leaving only a blushing Sasuke and a horney Naruto.

"So....my sweatness sugar pie Sasuke?" growled Naruto

"y-y--y-y-y-y-yes papi?" stamered Sakuse

Naruto grabbed Sasuke soft white hand and looked at it. Sasuke had painted his long sharp nail blacks with red goats heds and pentagons. Natuto began to suck his finger and kiss his hand

Naruto smile and "say we have a lots of caching up to do baby girl"

Sasuk get too exsited and hop on Naruto lap and dicks and balls (that is under cast of course but make sure reader know) and yell "LETS DO NOW PAPI"

Natuto groaned in hell agony and yell like being tortures "arghhh my genidal bones get off of me you fucking dumbass!!!!!! or I burns your soal!"

Sasuke begin to tears up and get off with pouty lip. Naruto just sigh like disapointed dad and rub face with hand.

"Listen.....Sasuke.....yuo just killed the mood....just bring me to the car and lets go to the mechanic shop"

Sasule use his strong ass muscle in arm to pick up Naruto like one of those reallylight sleeping bags you use once and then keep in the closet forever because its cheap and shitty. As Natuto and Sasuke leave the hospital Sasuke make the  
devil horn with figners to nurse making her blush and pass out because she is christian.

"yo kakashio my brother I got naruto where should I put him" said Sadsuke.

"Not enough rom in the car bruh just strap him to the roof" replied Kakashi

Sasuke just shrug and use bungie cords to tie Naruto (who is all covered in bandage like mummy from haloween store) to the roof. Sasuke then laugh at Naruto who looks like retard baby and get in car and start make out with love with  
sakura. Kakashi reach into dashbord and pull out small glass bong in shape of a cool gun and hit a dab before starting car and putting Veijo Amigo on the radio full blast. Natuto just watchs Saduke and Sakura kiss and cry as the subwofers  
make his broken body jiggle painfuly.

Once the team reach the macanic shop Sasuke untie Naruyo and carry him over his sholder like a sexy fireman to the secret robot implant room where Kakashi was waiting. Sasuke strap Naruto down to a operation table and gives him a quick  
gay kiss on the lips and tonge when Kakashi not looks before leabing. Kadaski begin pressing button and switch and levers and shit as robot arms come out from wall and begin working on Naruto. 

"hey Naruto this might sting a bit you need anything? I have some carribean rum that numb pain." Kakashi say 

"oh man I could use some to numb my pain" Naruto say lying because he still on oxycoton and he might be alcocholic.

So Kakashi give Naruto half bottle of rum that make Naruto drunk...and evens a little horneyer. Robot arms start cutting naruto open like a chicken at kfc and implant steel bones, lazers, built in bongs, build in katanas, shotgun arm, gives him robot eye with power, three robit hearts, gps, and ......best all,,....robit peepee. It kind of hurt Naruto but he strogner than pussy so he push through surgery. After about 10 minutes Natuto get up and say "is it over?"

"Yes tranformasshin in complete" says Kakashi with evil scientist smile and laugh and thunder strike in backround "arise Naruto my badass creation!!!!!!!!"

Naruto get up and look and mirror and see he look like fucking cyborg with od metal parts and even glowing robit eye where left eye was. Naruio flick his wrist (lol look at the flick of da wrist) and katana and huge cannon with lazer sight come out. He kinda of look like Cybog from Teen Titan but not black.

"Holy moly (not god because he not real) I have suriken cannon and katana whenever I wants on my right arm!" Naruto say

"chech your left arm Naruro" Kakashi say really creepy way

Naruto flick left wrist and huge m61 vulacn mashine gun painted in jamacain colors and weed leafs jewelery pop out with a click. It was so cool Naruto almos cum infront of Kakashi like a gaywad. The gun ammo was fed into a ammo pack   
built in two Natuto's back, allowing him to fucking destory!!!

"Naruto we are going to go to isis prison to disarm the bomb located in the warden office, they say this bomb can make the whole world use rock, bones and sticks like enstein said about world wars if it go off, we need to free the   
prisoners and get rid of this megabomb" says Kakashi in a deep manly growl

Naruto complains "Its a fuck ingprison how tf are we going to break in old ass man?"

Kakashi jus smile in the smile that smart anime character do and say in another growl "Watch young purple haze" Kakasi snap his fingers and the roof open up to deadass a whole helicopter. The whole room was being sweep with wind as the helicopter landed allowing Naruto to get a closer looks. Natuto gasp when he see that the helicopter is painted in the pan african colors with a giant black panther painted on both sides. Naruto knew that they were playing mufled reggae music inside by using his reggae music skills, and Naruto could smell all drugs like weed, beer, and vodka coming from the helicoper. The helicopter had a big bomb on the bottom with a picture of santa meurte painted on, below it read the word "fuck die kill destroys all isis terorist scums to the underwarld" 

Kakashi jus laugh and say "yea......I know the black panther leader dad and grandad and uncle....this baby is one of many "black attack helicopter" that they use to blows up kkk houses and shitty highschools who suck and are full of preps. You, me, Sasuke, and Sakura will enter this helicopter and fly above isis prison to drop down and enter through a window of a cell occupyed by one of our undercover agent. This baby will be flown by the pilot Malacai de la Vampire Ebony Sinful Lusifer, the first emo black panther ever in history."

Baruto only listen to helena by my chemical romance a few times when he feel sad after he see leaked photo of Kakashi making babies with his hot native america girlfriend Hanada. So he go to the pilet, fistbump him, and sing in a awesome angel voice

""Helena" lyrics  
My Chemical Romance Lyrics  
Play "Helena"  
on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad)  
"Helena"

Long ago  
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again  
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate  
The lives of everyone you know  
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)  
From every heart you break (heart you break)  
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)  
Well, I've been holding on tonight" (I do not own the rights to Helena this is creative use. PLS MCR I <3 <3 <3 you guys PLS PLS DONT SUE)

The pilet, who is wearing a pair of black fishnets, black leather thong, gorrilaz t-shirt cut off at the belly, silver upsidedown cross and skull necklace, spiked dog collar, and silver skulls at the end of his red dreadlocks just   
laugh and say "nice try poser just cuz you listen to helena once DOES NOT MAKE YOU EMO BRUH! You lucky that kakashi is so fuuuuuuuuuucking (he kinda of growl like an angry demon wolf in a cool way when saying fuck) cool, dudee."

Naruto just start to tear up and walk with head down over to Kakashi to wait for the rest of teams 7 to join.

Sakura walked in first wearing only pink glittering thong, hello kitty pasteys on her huge full moon like nipples, and a pair of spiked black bunny ears with words "satan" written on inside of one ear and "fucker" on inside of other. She  
have her armsel strike shotgun from racist south africa slung over her back along with a huge machete with sharp tooths all over the back to cut off heads and stuff.

Sasuke walked in second wearing a pair of purple crotch high boots with belts and buckles with platform heels, a pair of black leather chap covered in rhinestone middle fingers and rhinestone skuls, a torn shirt that has anime girls moaning covered in cums on it, and a huge 10 pound 24-karat necklace that show Sasuke face next to Tekashi 69 face and a image of puerto Rico island. The words on the necklace are placed at the bottom, and say "Sasuke kick ass of racist, drunk, and nazi and haves lots of sexs with beautiful girls like......your wife!!!!" On his head Sasuke wear a stolen nazi helmet spraypainted black and decorated with red demon horns and a red stripper girl figurine.

Naruto was just wearing the wrappings from his hospital stay that barley coverh his robo parts almost exposing his metal cock..... As everbody filed into the helicopter, they see the whole thing covered in sexy red silk and leopard print velvet with a bead curtain leadi ing into the cockpit (xD I didnt make that up search it up) Bottles of wine and beer are in built in coolers on the helicopter which Naruto plan on drinking to satify his crippling adiction. Kakashi give the orders and the helicopter lift of as fast as posible using jet engines, and fly over allentown to the isis prison built on north ralston.

As team 7 were flying some stupid nazi with pistol say "oh mine got itz za team zeven in za black powa helazopterz!!! die schwinez!!!" in a germen way.

He shot a few shot in the air but have a bomb dropped on him blowing him and his retarded little nazi toyota prius into metal dust and nazi blood dust. Everone just laugh and starting playing "war ina babylon" by the upsetters so loud that a femenist house they fly over catch on white flames (the hottest fire) and collapse and kill every femenist in it to death in fire. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi laugh like Peter Groffin from fox familys guy as the house crumbles and femenist run out of house on fire and shit. Sasuke even give two middle fingers at burning femunists, showing off his ten golden rolex watchs on each arm and pegan tattos on his middle fingers. 

After a few minute of flying, smoking huge jays, drinking, and playing call of duty (oh there was a playstation 9 on the helicopter it was unrelesed to the public due to its technology. The goverment made it using roswell alien ship   
parts and it can run at 200 fps in half a second) the black attack helicoper finaly reached the isis prison, allowing team 7 to drop onto the roof using a rope like swat guys in movies. Kakasdi started to talk like a smart old man becau-  
se he is like fifty years old and going throgh a midlife crisis and say

"Okay gang, as you see if you are not blind, we are standing above the sunroof of the isis prison which they use to heat up the prison because isis is used to hot desert and it not hot enough here. also, isis use the sunroof to power  
solarpanel which they use to power the lazers torture weapons and lazer gate to guards every cell block. Sasuke, I need you to cut through the glass with you long ass fingernails to let us enter sneakly and drop in. When we drop in, I   
need Sasuke to enter the guard room to open every cell door to free the prisoners and start a rebelliom. While Sasuke attempt to enter guards room, Sakura, I need you to distract isis guard with you big boobs and big ass. (I know Sakura  
is very smart and strong woman but you will see her use brain later, she is not just a sex thing okay? i keep getting hate for having her be only "horney sex girl" but she is relly smarts so if you want to talk shit prepare to get hit)   
Natuto, you and me sneak into the solarpanel room to break all the solarpanel to destroy the lazer systams okay? if you do good I will give you your girlfriend love privledges back."

"Fucker yeah!" naruto yell while gripping his fist

Sakura begin the invasion of the isis prison by cutting a perfect circle in the glass with her long acrylic nail. Just big enough for her to squeeze her fat japanese ass through it cause it sooo massive like the moon. Kakashi get rope from his backpack and tie it to the roof, sneakily let it go down so team 7 can climb down it into the prison. Kakashi use hand signal like a swat dude and order Sasuke to go down first, with Sakura second, Natuto third, and himsel last. 

"daiperlover and black sabbarth" Kakashi say using finger and hand symbols like special needs student who cant hear "take out the isis gaurds over there and release all prisoner in block to start a riot". "Purple haze follow me and make sure to use yor ninja black smoke magic." 

Naruto sigh and say "yes latinalover..." (This was kajashi shinobi code name but it made Naruto cringe everytime he say it) and do some ninja gang sign, turning him and his master into a cloud of black weedsmoke. 

Sakura and Sasuke begin sneaking towards the gaurd room while Naurot and Kakashi sneak towards the center of prison to the control room. Sakura keep on giggling though cause Sasuke whispering about nasty ass bdsm stuff they goin to do to eachother in the helicopter after the mission, which make saskura coochie wet like a leaking watergun and stuff. This giggling alert a single isis gaurd who is wearing a turban and a robe and holding a gold ak47, and he almost shout for backup before Sakura make the hush sign with her finger and show him her huge d cup white boobs. The isis gaurd instantly get a boner, but sakura pinch the top of his dingdong with her fingers before he cum, backing up his dick with jizz and causing his penis to explodes. Killing him istantly with a explosions of blood, guts, eyeballs, brain, and some of his torn clothes. 

"Holy satan devil! that was fucking metals!" Sasuke say giving sakura the devil horns and start head banging like my big bro at pantera concert

Sakura lockpick the guard room dor with her fake fingernails. Opening it slowly as she and her boyfriend snuck in. The only other person in the gaurd room was a huge fat isis dude sleeping on an office chair in front of a bunch of security camera screen thing. The isis fat guy smoke too much hooka and eat too much donuts and so he was sleeping. He had two gold mac-12 with silencers in each hand. In the middle of abunch of buttons and shit there was a big red lever that say "PLEASE DONT PULL IT WILL MAKE ALL THE PRISONERS GO LOOSEAND KILL ALL ISIS IN A RIOT". 

It took sakura a while to find the right lever to pull but she found the big red one and say to Sasuke "Sasuke, dont worry about that darn fat retard over there he high and stuff, we jus need to worry about freeing the prisoner!"

"Okay sweet honey snoogems" said Sasike before pulling the lever, which caused alarms to begin makeing noise in arabic and light to start flashing.

The gaurd, still snooring, only move around a little in his sleep, probably dreaming about food cause he was obese as fuck. Sasuke get ideas because he is satanist and sadist, and sneak over to the gaurd and hit him with the Undertakers snake eyes move. Which chrushed the gaurds damn eye balls. The gaurd fall to the ground and yell something, but sasuke didnt care, Sasuke just get on the gaurds chair and preform the Undertakers suicide dive move, which breaks the gaurds bones and guts into a million peaces. Sasuke then use his strength to pick up the guard and do Undertakers tombstone piledrive move on the isis fatty, which make his head blow up into a thousand chunk of meat, blood, skull, and brain. After that, Sasuke just get up and start singing Chief Keef "earned it' and start dancing. This made Sakura super duper horney. 

Shouting and yelling started after the prisoner were released, the prisoner were armed with shivs, clubs, axes, swords, spears, molotov cocktalls, and even homemade shotguns. their leader, a huge 400 pound 7 foot dominican dude built like a tank with muscles walk up to Sasuke and Sakura who were making out and grinding up on each other at this point. The dominican holds a huge 50 pound sword like guts from berserk covered with spikes and sawtooth. The only thing he wearing is an orange prisoner pants which expose his body, covered in tattoos of virgin of gaudaloupe and santa muerte torturing nazi, femenist, and isis people, with words pointing to the nazi, femenist, and isis that say "gay, dumbass, retard burn in hell" but in spanish. The huge dominican dude kneel before Sasuke and say

"We are grateful for you and your sexy girlfriend granting us freedom, my boys call me Nazikiller." Nazikiller begin singing "real powers in people" by prodigy

"Money's worthless, real power is people  
Real strength is in the streets where everybody's equal  
Fuck jewelry, fuck rims; let's spend on our protection  
Get armor, get cameras, get with' it lil nigga this man's shit  
Real power is people  
Real strength is in the streets where everybody's equal"

  
*** Meanwhile...... ***

  
"shhh young purple haze, do you see the isis guys guarding the control room?" Kakashi said, pointing at the door with the word "CONTROL ROOM" above it, which was gaurded by two isis prison gaurds.

One of the guards was super tall and armed with deadass bow and arrow cause he was poor and cant afford gold guns. The other gaurd was short and armed with a gold serbu super-shorty. Both of them were talking about one piece and how long it was while Naruto was planing his next move.

Naruto pull out a shuriken on a rope and throw the suriken at the short guard because he was the only one with a gun. The suriken hit him in the throat and when straight down into his belly wrapping around his stomach. Like an old man fishing over the weekend Naruyo pull on the rope and rip out the isis guys whole stomach! The tall isis guard was shocked and aimed an arrow at Kakashis heart before Naurto wrap his shuriken rope around the arrow. Naruto then steal the arrow and swing it around the room before whipping it back into isis gaurds neck. Naruto then run up and jump kick the arrow into the wall, pinning the tall gaurd to the wall like a nerf dart stuck to a wall.

"haha looks like I got them "pinned" down lol" said Naruto in a anime way

"good for a novice, Natuto" say Kakasi "but I could've assassinated them with my wind tiger ogre beatdown style within half the time it took you to kiss Sasuke on the lips".

Naruto jaw feel open and his tongue droop down with saliva "w-w-wh-whhat! How you know master?!?!??!"

Kakashi just smirk and say "Naruto, I am a religios man, and lets just say, Jesus told me everrrryything".

Naruto just blushes and say "god fucker damn, lets just keep moving, old man....."

Naruto and Kakashi use a vent system to sneak into the control room and see a single isis head gaurd keeping a eye over the lazer power controls and computer things, he was huge, kinda fat but in a muscle way like a gorilla in a zoo. The huge isis guy wore a crown made out of cut of ears and fingers and eye balls of prisoners! He wielded a whole ass ZU-23-2 (anti-aircraft twin-barreled autocannon) with his big ass hands. He wore a robe made out of gold thread with pictures of hot stripper with big boobs on it and him having sex with them. The large gaurd also wore a pair of spiked yellow boots covered with rhinestone skulls and rhinestone strippers.

Kakashi gasped "purpe haze, do you know who that is?"

Naruto said in a gay way "no....should I?"

Kakashi said in a serious old man way "Thats Massive Mohammed, the strongest isis in the world!"

Naruto laught and say "I've seen heroin addict bigger than him" 

Naruto than used his substitution magic and turned into a cement brick above Massive Mohammmed head, fallings on him and killing him instantly with a meat splatter that sound like someone dropping a bag of pudding.

"Naruto, go through the doors back their and take care of the rest of the power switchs. Ill stay here and disable the lazer beams" says Kakashi

Naututo nod and flash the team 7 ninja gang sign before going through the back doors with an arabic sign above it. Naruto couldnt read . Suddenly, all the lights in the room when off and focued on a bearded shadow standing on a platform  
and an oddly shaped ball in the center of the room. 

"Hello shinobi" says the bearded shadow

"Who in the athiest hell are you!?!" shout Naruto

The bearded figure move into the spotlight, revealing.......... OSAMA BIN LADIN!

Naruto gasp and fall to his knee like a weak ass anime girl. Osama just laughed in an arabic accent. 

"Natuto, see that metal thing in front of you. Look at it good!" Osama said between his evil laughes

Naruto crawled over a look at the wierd metal thing. There was wires and buttons and blinking lights coming off of it like some kind of dumbass christmas decoration. Naruto look at the thing and it had a sticky note attach to it that say "time destorying nuke bomb. property of osamas bi ladin." Osama just laugh and laugh and he slowly walk down stairs toward Naruto and the time nuke bomb. Osama pulled out a keychain and insert it into a slot which flipped open to reveal a large red button. Osama hand with black fingernails with satanic pentagrams on it hover over the button.

"Any last word, white boy?" say Odama bin ladin

"Yeah.........your a wacka doodle!" Naruto shout before pulling out his mashine gun cyborg arm and firing a hundred rounds into Osama. Which turned Osama old leather smelling ass into chunks of flesh and beard hairs.

Naruto smirk all happy and say "Thank you science for helping me and not god because ur not real. once i show Kakashi this bomb once i disarm he will probably buy me soo much jays blunts and weed!"

"I will even probably get girlfriend priveledges back! YES! hanada phonenumbers is 605-384-0000!!!" Naruto say to himself hyping himself up for sexy times with his girlfriend. 

"Yes......yes....I will make sure to write that number down....she sound cute" a creepy pedo voice say from the balcony.

"Wait.....ODAMA BI LADIN!??!?!?!" Naruto moan in agony

"Yes, you halfwitted moron fool.... How did you think I already know your shinobi? I am a shinobi myself! that how I could tell! What you just kill was my shadow clone!" Osama laugh like an evil isis scientist before pulling out a slingshot and aiming at the big red time nuke bomb button.

"Bye-bye you dumn weeds smoker" said Osama before firing a steel ball at the button

Naruto say nothing as he watch the ball fly in slow motion before hitting the button, only tear stream down his face. "Hanada" Natuto though "Please dont have sex with Kakashi....." before everything whent blacks..............


	5. chatper 5 - Naruto in the wastelands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto head spinning after time nuke went off....but Osama terrorist must be killed......and his bloods drunk in death of pain!

chapter 5 Naruto in the wasteland

* TIMESKIP THE YEAR XXXX, Roughly 1000 years into the future. Probably where allentown is

"Holy moly my head" Naruto say as he grasp his cyborg skull "that isis scum Odoma bin ladin made so much love to my Hanada. She probably have like 30 babies with his ugly face on all of them...."

Natuto cried but without making noise because Naruto is highly sensitive cute bisexual guy. Naruto felt sand brush past his delicate lily white cheeks and irritate his baby blues eyes and stopped crying before looking out to see the wasteland.

"Mother mary......I-I-I mean dear not-real God" Naruto say as he look out across the sandy desert that allentown had become after the time nuke bomb.

Looking at the sand around himself, Naruto noticed that one of his robit arms had fallen off and starting bleeding gunk all overs the snad. Natuto took the only bit of cloth on his body, the surgery wrappings covering his massive robopenis. And tie it around the oily stump that was his left arms. Naruto look out in the distance to south and see a human figure leading a bunch of goats and stuff in the distance. Naruto used his robo legs to speed run over to the human, eventually reaching the figure over 10 miles in one minute like asian bolt after smoking a 20 pipes of meth.

The goatherder was a young femboy, about 18 years old, with a huge suntan ass. Naruto face the goatherder and say "hey.....you....my fuckn arm......has fallen.....off".

The goatherder has worried but notice naruto huge 1 foot robocock made from stainless steel and blush in a girly way and giggle.

"Oh......I could take you to my village to see the witch docor. he can fix that up with his black magic and stuff" the goatherder femboy said, turning his back on Naruyo to point to his village.

Naruto, not having sex in 1000 years. Noticed the goatherders massive booty and instantly got a bonor.

"but-but what about Sasuke" Naruto thought "I miss his fine peurto rico body...." Naruto than perk up and think "Wait... I think it like 1000 years in the future he probably dead anyways" and continue getting a boner.

When the bonor activate it hit a goat on the head and knock it out cold, which hurt but feel good like in a freaky bdsm way to Naruto. This made the goatherder slightly unhappy, buts Naruto offer to carry goat with his good arm all the way to the village.

About 10 miles later Naruto and goatherder arrive to large village with houses made out of sand, surrounded by a 10 foot wall also made out of sands.

"Welcome to sandtown" said the goatherder in a sassy way "population 500 people 5000 goat". Naruto and the goatherder visited goatherders house first where Natuto throw the knocked out goat into a small pen made from sand.

"You must be soooooooooo thirsty stranger" the goatherder said into a sexy way like a beautiful bird trying to have sex alot. "I have bottles of cactus rum and water baby....."

Naruto acoholism is super bad because he cant go one day without drinkings so 1000 year without drinking make him fiend for beer, rum, and wine. Naruto thirster for alcohol than he is honrey after 1000 year of no sex with boy or girl. The inside of the house was ghetto as hell, walls was made of sand, couch was made of sand, table was made of sand, even bed was made of sands. Naruto sat down on the couch and watch as the femboy ass jiggle side from side like that things with metal clacking balls that smart guys have in movies. Natuto looks at the table in the center of the room, it has a radio playing tribal music and a...... SKELESTONS!?!??!?! Nayuto starting freak out like a pussy crazy because skeleton scare him even way more than death which scares the goat outside into making loud ass noises.

"Cybord honey sweety what it wrong?!?!?!?" say the femboy with two wine glass in one hand and a huge bottle of cactus rum.

Naruto say with his voice all scared "Holy science god what is that hell thing????"

The femboy look at the small skeleton statue at the table and just laugh and say "That Santa Muerte dummy, she is the god of the wasteland and death and cool guns".

Memorys of the past came flood back into Naruto mind like a lot of water, making him remember the good days with Kakashi, Sasuke, and Salura. kissing sasuke and smoking weed at same time by kissing.... smoking weed and eating baloney from deli..... Narutos start to cry in a adorable bisexual way again which made the goatherder sad too.

"Cyborg what wrong???" ask the goatherder.

"n-n-n-n-no-noot-nothing" sniveles Naruto "I just thinks I need alots of weed to make me feel good".

The goatherder nod and pull a huge jar full of sticky og weed nuggets from futuristic jamaica and grind them up using a goat skull weed grinder. The goatherder pull out backwoods rolling paper and pour like 4 gram of weed into it but Natuto take over and pour all of the grinded up weed, creating a huge joint with 80 gram of weed in it to numb pain. The joint look like a goddamn snake that eat to much rat after being release in a hole full of rats. Nayuto use a built in lighter on his right middle finger to light the join and start puffing huge clouds that look like the mushroom clouds from a big ass nuclear bomb. The whole house become a haunted house with fake fog but with weed instead of fog. Even the goat in the backyard got a bit high and stuff. Naruto than chug the whole bottle of cactus rum and start to sing "satanac rite of count drugula" by electric wizord

"Under saturns rays I rest in eternal sleep dopesmoke violates my tomb and awakens me  
Clawing from the grave my batwings spread  
Their blood filled with drugs, so high, so dead

Your dope laced blood shows me new highs  
Bloodlust, druglust, count drugula arise...

Strung out on blood I hunt the streets at night  
Terror from the sky, in batform I strike  
Your naked body dragged to my darkened crypt  
I tie you up, dope you up then your blood I sip

Drugula....." (like i said before this is creative use so pls dont sue im not making money from this pls pls <3)

Naruto sound like 1000000 angels singing at once in emo heaven which made the femboy so dang horney.

"Wow" said the goatherder "that was so deep like an ocean. my love for you grow like plants in the sun if you water them."

Naruto got all depression and stuff and say in a goth way "that was.....for.....the dead spirit of my dead friends of a dead past long ago....".

This made the femboy super teary eyes but also really turn him on and he snuggle up next to Naruto rubbing his big caboose all over his robit leg.

"Cyborg? would sex all night sound good". asked the femboy goatherder.

Natuto did an anime smirk and fistpump and growls "yeah..... I need some crazy fast sex".

Naruto and the femboy hop on the sand bed and make out for at least and hour or two before getting freaky. Naruto use his cyborg eye to scan the naked body of the femboy to gather data and see with his robo vision

penis = 6 inch  
butt = 15 pound  
butt status = clean and smell like cherrys  
honrey level = oh yeah daddy

Naruto lean back on bed and use robo vision to aim directly at the femboy asshole, extending his dick inside his ass across 3 feet like those extending grabber arm toys. Natuto then activates the dick make it swell and vibrate like a  
hex bug.

"OHHOOOHOHOHOH ARGHHHHHH PAPI UUUUUUUUURGGGHHHHHHAAAAAH" the femboy hollared like a cow that drink to much beer.

Naruto look around a suddenly see a glass bong hidden under the bed. The base was a skull smoking a joint and the stem was decorate with lyric from panic! at the disco that said "Havent you people ever hard of closing the goddamn door".

"Yo baby what is this bong?" Naruto say while his dick is going crazy like it has a mind of its own.

"Ugh ugh ugh ugh oh yeah my mom gave me dat bong she fought into the hundreth goat war". said the goatherder while getting super fucked.

"goat war?" asked naruto.

"yeah my mom die to a bomb filled with katana and shuriken when the evil city of Shinobi Town declare war on us for our goats" replied the femboy goatherder.

Naruto got good ideas and stuck the bong in femboy ass along with his already inside dick and loaded up the bowl with a huge weed nugget.

"sorry yor mom died" Narutos said as he start smoking even more weeds but inside the goatherders butthole make it super warm inside. This make naruto robot dick nice a warm like jacuzzi.

"ORRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the femboy moaned at 10000 decabals like 1000 hentay being played at once.

Natuto activate his cock to start spinning around like electric whisk at superspeed and yells "AAAUUUGHHGHGHH MY DICK IS ON A EVIL RAMPAGE!"

Sweats dripp from femboy face as he was getting fuck by bong and naruto robos cock getting the sand bed totally wet with sweat. Naruto has built in ipod which he use to play "passenger" by deftone all night while banging as loud as possible.

*** The whole night later ***

As dawn arrive the femboy was ready to cum all over after 10 hours of pure fuck from naruto.

"IM DARN BLOWINGS PAPI ROBOT!!!" the femboy scream.

"BOOOYAAAA" naruto moan as he thrust deep as possible into femboy ass.

Naruto should have built the dang ark that noah built when he did that because a tidal waves of cum explode from femboy cock as Naruto say his catchphrase. The whole bed was covered in an inch of hot jizz and naruto slipp and dent his robit skull. When  
Nayuto head hit the ground this activate his rocket foot which fly off and hit the femboy right in the ass hole making him cum more and throwing him across the house. The femboy went half ways through a wall (because it made from sand okay?) and pass out from total cum explosion. The femboy balls, with no cum left, look like the raisin at the bottom of an old raisin box.

"Oh shit!" Naruto thought "I have to see the witch docker guy to heal my arm!"

Naruto walk over to the femboy and ask "yo I need to go to witch doctor to fix my arm i need direction".

THe femboy sigh in a really gay way and say "oh yeah. just take the keys to my wagon and follow the street up north and there should be a single shack. It has big sign that say wich doctor cant miss it".

Naruto smile and kiss the goatherders feet (because his head was sticking out of house) and say "thank sugars". Naruto took the keys to the wagon and another bottle of cactus rum just incase he got thirsty.

As narutos enter the garage he see a old timey wagon with two horse at the front. The wagon has rapper faces like pop smoke, tupac, biggy small, tekashi 69, and ice cube all over it. Naruto dont listen to rap alot but it look really lit. The wheel had golden rims of weed leafs that say thing like "pimp" and "i sell hoes". Naruto get in the wagon and whip the horses saying "YAH YAH" like in cowboy movies. This made the horse go super fast down the road like a badass lowrider but like in a caveman way.

As Naruto was speeding at 100mph down the vilalge main road he say a old lady on the sidewalk with a sign that say "god hate gays" on one side at a large "fag" on the other. Naruto usually dont condone violence against old woman but he  
whip his horsesto go as fast as possible and drifted across the road and sidewalk. Hitting the old homofobe lady with the back of his wagon turning her into a shower of red blood mist and flying guts.

Natuto stick his hand up without looking and catch the old lady skull and look at it like he in a shakespeer play and say "hey old bitch....never fuck with a bisexual dude on a wagon........YOU GEEZER OLD FUCKER!!" before crushing her skull into dust with one hand and blowing the skull dust away.

Naruto eventually reach the witch docor after riding north for a few minutes. Reaching a sand hut with a big ass sign on it made out of sand. Naruto cant read but the hut gave of a witch dotcor vibe so he park his wagon their and press  
the keys, locking the wagon with a beep noise.

Natuto knocked on the sand door and said "um hey....wich doctor I need you to stick my arm back on". All was queit for a bit before the door open a little and naruto see a red pentagram shaped sharingan eye staring at him.

"Come in beautifal..." Said the mystery witch before letting Naruto in.

Naruto walk in and see the witch doctor and gasp. It was a girl with big black boobs just swinging out in the wind. She wearing yellow full body fishnet with a pair of spiked thigh-high black leather boots with stiletto heels. Her boots say "ELECTRIC WIZARD" in large print across the boots. Her head was covered by a goats head with huge curling horns.

She looked at Naruto robodong first before looking him in the eye and saying "Alright just hand me the arm and ill work my magic". Naruto hand the witch his severed robot arm and she layed him down on a couch used to operate on people. She pull out a wand and starting chanting satan stuff I dunno.

And as she was putting back on Nayutos arm with black magic she said "so big penis boy, whats your name?"

Naruto look in pain as her wand make his arm grow back to his shoulder and say "n-Natuto".

The witch gasped and look at Naruto through her goat mask. "Naruto?????" she say shocked.

"Um....yeah?" Naruto reply.

The witch quickly finish using blacks magic to attach Naruto arm and bow down in front of him but her huge tits prevented her from totally touching floor. "You are the one our lord Lusifer Blackness of Dark Storm over Blood Ocean talked about! He said you would arrive to bring revenge upon the evil terrorist shinobi that now cause pain and misery to this wastelands!!!!"

Naruto look kinda of retarded when we say "wuh-w-w-what?"

"Listen" begged the witch "you need to come with me to see our master!"

Naruto said "OUR master? whose this our we are talking about?"

The witch explains "the master of all satan witch and wizard dumbass! just follow me to the satan magic teleporter and I will bring you there".

Naruto looked a bit hesitant with his lip all pouty because he bi.

"I can fucks you while we teleport" said the witch.

"AWESOME!!!!!!11" said Naruto and he and the witch went into the backroom to activate the satan magic teleporter.

"Oh satan!" groaned the witch "I forgot the damn goat blood to activate teleporter".

Naruto than had idea because though he cant read he sorta smart sometimes. Naruto found some homofobic old lady skull dust still on his body and wipe it off on his finger.

"Hey witch does homofobic old lady skull dust work?"

The witch though "dont see why not" and ask Naruto to stick his old lady skull dust cover finger into the center of the pantagram teleporter to activates it.

  
Naruto listened and the second he did as the witch ask everything went into black again which prolly give Natuto mad ptsd. That didnt matter through because he had tons of sticky freaky sex

*** After what sem to be 10 seconds later... ***

The witch led naruto through the satanic compound they telapart to as she went to deliver Natuto to Lord Lusifer Blacknes of Dark Storm over Bloods Ocean. The whole place was build on a dead volcano. Witchs and wizards lived their together in tents just having sex orgy all day while learning magic and stuff in magic schools like hogwarts but not as white and preppy. Witchs and wizards of all colors and sexs lived together to defend eachother from evil terrorist shinobi that use isis magic to destroy all satan lovers. Stereos and subwoofers all over the compound constantly blared electric wizards all over so loud that it would make preps heads explode into brain dust. Naruto and the witch had to climb up to the top of the dead volcano which take an hour cause it is so damn tall.

"Woof" The witch huff "here it is Naruto, the tent of our master. allow me to introduce you".

The witch peel back the tent opening thing and gently lead Naruto in before the Lord Lusifer. Naruto look around the room in shock as he gaze upon the Lord Lusifer Blacknass of Dark Storm over Blood Ocean. He wore red steel armor with spikes all it with a black leather trenchcoat stuck over the spiked armor for decoration. The trenchcoat had red tassel all over bottom of sleeves and along the edges, each topped with golden skull, golden middle finger, and golden pentagroms. The trench coat was covered with a goat and baby blood painting of satan punching some bearded guy in the penis.....wait.....is that a bearded guy Osama ban ladan????? Lord Lusifer wore goat skull across his face painted black with and old beaten nazi helmet painted in red. The helmet have five gold horns going towards the center which held up a figure of japanese girl with big boobs. His muscular arm was covered in huge irons chains and all of his fingers had a curled claw rings covered in gems on it. His boots were completely made from steel with the toes having steel skulls on them. The figure stood as still and a rock that wasnt moving before getting up and up to Naruto. Lord Lusifer grab Natutos chin and gently lift his face up to meet his which fill Naruto nose with a familar smell (goat blood, weed, evil magic, and smelly dude sweat.)

Lord Lusifer adressed the witch standing next to narutos in a deep sexy growl "Obsidian Woman of Goat Blood Steam"

The witch bowed infront of Lord Lusifer but her huge tits smack against the floor again making a huge smacking noise that echo throughout the entire compound. "Lord Lusifer of the blackest black darkness, son of satan and fucker of hot demon girls and guys in firey hell, I bring to you....... Naruto..."

Lord Lusifer uttered "N-nana-n-narutos????"

Narutogulped because the figure before him was so scary but kinda horney.

"Yes my lord" Naruto whispered.

Lord Lusifer lifted off his goat skull mask with a clawed hand, reavealing the tattooed face and purple shadowed eyes of.................

.........SASUKE!!!!!!@!!!!11

"I have wait so dang longs........." Sasuke moaned


End file.
